The Weaver and the Remade

Ok, this is really stupid but here it goes. This is my favorite joke in the whole world to tell.

So a skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer... and a mop...

I'm sorry it's not actually funny, but that is one of the things I like about this joke. The joke is actually the uncomfortable silence that just hangs in the air as they wait for you to finish telling it... which you have... which they will soon figure out... right about... NOW. Ah.. ok..that wasn't funny.

NO! It was not funny. : )

One of the best parts of the joke is the uncomfortable silence where you smile in anticipation of the laughter that is not coming. And then there is the quick flash of pity, and the brief thought that you are messing with them, and maybe they get angry a little bit, or maybe they just write it off as a null situation, or better yet, they get how brilliant the joke is and how it expands out past the scope of just the words but into the world of expectations and desires and thwarts them in uncomfortable ways. Or best of all they get it, they understand it and they mimic all of the worst possible interactions of a broken social contract and then you both break out laughing when it becomes to much to handle.

And that is why this is my favorite joke to tell.

Lindsay Miller featured at Words in the Alley recently. She is a great performer and it is always good to see her (or any of the Tucson crew) Throw it down. She did a great piece about the joker, which made me all kinds of happy. So I asked her to send it to me so I could read it over and over and memorize it and tell everyone I know how incredible she is. : ) So she did, and I've been working on memorizing it. It gives me chills every time I go over it.

Thank you Lindsay.

This is for all those people who are both MegaTokyo fans and Batman fans. : )

This is the greatest supervillian musical I've ever seen. and I've seen... I know I've seen at least one other.

http://www.drhorrible.com/index.html

ONE WEEK ONLY! AN INTERNET MINISERIES EVENT!

"Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog" will be streamed, LIVE (that part’s not true), FREE (sadly, that part is) right on Drhorrible.com, in mid-July. Specifically:

ACT ONE (Wheee!) will go up Tuesday July 15th.

ACT TWO (OMG!) will go up Thursday July 17th.

ACT THREE (Denouement!) will go up Saturday July 19th.

All acts will stay up until midnight Sunday July 20th. Then they will vanish into the night, like a phantom (but not THE Phantom – that’s still playing. Like, everywhere.)

SLAM BATTLE!!! I'm coaching the Mesa Team this year. : ) Here's some details about their next show.

WHO: Team Phoenix vs. Team Mesa
WHEN: 7pm start time
WHERE: The Paisley Violin Cafe, 1030 NW Grand Ave., Phoenix, 85007
WHAT: A fundraiser to get the teams to Nationals
HOW much: $5 suggested donation

Nothing can hold the Valley poets back from bringing you more and more high energy and hard hitting poetry shows. This Wednesday the best of the best from around the Valley are assembling to bring you a show that will knock your socks off. The two teams from Mesa and Phoenix that will be representing Arizona at the 2008 National Poetry Slam Competition are battling it out to see just who has the best Slam Chops in the Valley. Both teams have been working vigorously this summer and are bringing new, fresh and in your face poetry this Wednesday night @ 7PM. You simply will not want to miss this event. Come to the Paisley Violin this Wednesday for an amazing event and show your support to the teams that are trying to raise money to get to Madison, Wisconsin for the National Slam in August. (www.nps2008.com) All monies collected will be donated straight to the teams!

The Downtown Poetry Slam is dedicated to offering a space for poets to develop their writing and performance skills; to support traveling poets; to make poetry accessible and entertaining for audience members; and to use poetry to positively impact local and global communities.

The Paisley Violin is located at the intersection of 11th Ave and Grand Ave, 1030 NW Grand Ave. Phoenix, 85007.

Please repost if you're in the Phoenix area!

WHAT: Madison or Bust Fund raiser Garage Sale
WHEN: Fri. June 27, Sat. June 28, and Sun., June 29 7a-2p
WHERE: 7732 N. 48th Avenue Glendale, AZ 85301
WHO: Local artists and YOU
WHY: Support the teams that are going to Nationals to represent you!

This weekend, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, from 7am-2pm will be the "Madison or Bust" fund raiser garage sale! All proceeds go directly to helping local poets get to the National Poetry Slam in Madison, WI!

Members of the valley poetry community will be on hand each day, as well as members of the Phoenix and Mesa slam teams!

Can't get to the sale? You can also contribute to Team Mesa by going to A Shot of Java in downtown Glendale, and putting a tip in the barista's jar, and the slam team's jar! You can also contact wordmule@gmail.com to inquire about purchasing chapbooks from the Phoenix and Mesa teams, and any upcoming fund raising events!

Here are some highlights for the sale:

Poet On Call (donate $1 to have a poet read your favorite poem)
Tons of household items
Original art by local artists
Books
Clothes
Tools
Popsicles
Holiday decorations (mostly Halloween)
Chapbooks and CD's by local poets
Kitchen items
Toys
Free water
Sewing supplies including Fabrics
Star Wars Action Figures
Computers and accessories
Home made cookies
+more!

I'll be playing at the Trunk Space tonight. It would be fairly awesome if i saw anyone one of you there. : )

Hugs,
Jonathan

I had a great time at the 24 hour slam. Jess and I only spent about 8 hours there. : ) I got to read a big ol' 30 minute piece of mine that I never read anywhere because, well, because it is almost half an hour long! But they needed people willing to fill up time. I have much respect for Tabor for putting this together and hosting it. We need good people willing to do these kinds of things.

HUGS to you brother man.

Jess got great shots of the bunny suite and will likely post them with all the pictures from the Phoenix Improv Festival.

The Phoenix improv scene is another group of wonderful performers who are willing to get out and make good quality events happen. Congratulations on a huge turn out. I volunteered, sort of, and watched all the sat. Night Shows.

Good improv is kind of overwhelming in it's implication. The on the spot nature of it gives it so much life.

Jess and I got up at 3:30 Tuesday morning so we could be to the Hospital at 5:30. They serve some damn fine mochas in the waiting room lobby. I thought they would help me wake up, but no. I napped sitting up while they prepped her in the back. When they finally called me in, I just sat with her in the little curtained off room, holding her hand and dozing with my head on the bed railing while she nodded off in bed. Sometimes we woke up and kissed and talked about stupid stuff.

After the surgery she was completely zonked. She would wake up enough to acknowledge you, but then go right back to sleep. Kevin came and visited her after work, but she couldn't talk really yet. Every pain medication they gave her into a zombie almost instantly. I slept on the chair in her room till late and then went home.

We seriously over packed her hospital bag. Books and deodorant and games and phone charger... she was out of it the whole time she was there, but at least she was not lacking for entertainment. : P

She was way more coherent Wed. morning when I came to take her home. I helped her get dressed and gather her things. They rolled her down in a wheel chair and I pulled the car around. As the day went on she pulled together: drank some brother, watched some Heroes, chatted with me, played with mocha, ate fajitas watched Salad Fingers and went to bed.

The pain hasn't been too bad. Mostly Advil is doing the trick to reduce the swelling and the pain. But right before bed I had to order the girl to take her pain medication. She was hurting. It was long day. She was doing great, but come on, if you have legitimate hurts, then take legitimate Meds for it. : )

She likes it when I get all manly and tell her what to do.

"You will take care of yourself! blah blah"
"You will lay down and rest and get better! blah blah!!!"

She such a sucker for the machismo. : P

What a crazy day. Getting married is the culmination of everyone you know looking out for you all at once to try and pull off something wonderful. They run for Tuxedos, they hook together your dress, they straiten your tie and lint your hat. They come over and cook you breakfast.

Skwid came over early the day of the wedding and made pancakes. They were crazy good. White chocolate chips, Reeses peanut putter chips, walnuts, bananas and Log Cabin Syrup. There were thirteen of us going nuts. I can't believe he cooked breakfast for that many People. We used almost a whole box of bisquick. There was just enough for Skwid to make one last batch for himself at the end. Thanks brother man, for helping us all get started.

The girls ran off to get their hair and make up done and we went to pick up the tuxes. I had gone the previous day, but my shirt and shoes were too small. There was a bit of wrangling about how to pay for things because Jessica swiped my bank card from my wallet, but we got it all worked out. Afterward Brian paid for me to get a nice wash and shampoo at the hair place. They messaged my scalp and trimmed my hair and prettied me up nice. They gave Bri Bri similar treatment and took the electric razor to Georges head.

While they were getting their hair done I was across the street getting my very first manicure ever. $15 dollars (including tip) got me a clip and a filing. Then she soaked my cuticles in a little bowl, just like a Palmolive commercial, and then carved them out of my finger tips with a very peculiar looking tool. Imagine something like a mini pair of wire cutters going to work on the skin around your nail. Then she messaged my hands and forearms with some lotion for a few minutes before finishing off by putting three different coats of hard candy stuff on my nails. Boy do they “Shine like wit diamonds”

she's getting her nails done
Crystal clear so they could shine like wit diamonds
It's such a shame what happened last week
Man they found her under the sheets with a letter from the Son of Sam
It said to tell New York I ain't sleepin
You want to be clubbin then you better pack your heat in

-Low Income

Bakeem ran around like crazy getting us all tucked in and belted and buttoned. He is a damned phenomenon when it comes to seeing what needs doing and making sure it gets done. We gathered up the piano and the programs and whatnots and the six of us went out to the car to discover.... dun da dah! There was 6 of us, 7 if you include the piano, and room for 4 in the car... 5 if you include the piano.

So... Skwid drove back from the friendship gardens to get the stragglers and our crazy morning finally came to end when we all got there and hurriedly started waiting around. : )

At this point I haven't even started thinking about writing my vows.